Trump to realize life-long goal!

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WikiLeekZ has discovered a closely held Inner Circle secret. Trump has hired 7 writers, editors and screen play veterans to write a screenplay deifying his first year in office. The team has been working round-the-clock to meet the movie production launch deadline of September 2018.

The movie release date is scheduled so that the nation will have the opportunity to view all of Trump’s accomplishments prior to the 2018 Congressional elections.

WikiLeekZ has learned that the working group is simply copying Trump Tweets and headlines from the NYT and WAPO and assembing them into a full length political/spy/family/thriller /tragedy 

screenplay…titled: Sex/ Lies/ LeekZ & Money ...Trump in his 70's.

When asked for details of the work in progress, one insider on the writing team told WikiLeekZ to think of: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy; Crime and Punishment; King Lear and The Godfather all rolled into one sprawling story centered in Washington DC, New York City and Moscow.

The writer added that Trump, in an initial meeting, told the writing group that this film “will allow Trump to realize his life-long goal! A modern classic along the lines of “Triumph of the Will”*

In fact, he continued, Trump wants the marquee to read... “Triumph of the Will”!

It is well known in his inner circle that Trump fully expects to achieve his life-long goal of receiving a justly deserved Academy Award.

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* Triumph of the Will (German: Triumph des Willens) is a 1935 German propaganda film directed, produced, edited, and co-written by Leni Riefenstahl.

24% of Americans cheer Trump's latest Lack of Manners

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is Our Game

In a poll conducted by WikiLeekZ 72 % of sentient Americans believe that President Trump acted in a very rude, childish manner when he pushed the Prime Minister of Montenegro aside at the NATO meeting yesterday. And...

24% applaud his most recent move

The 24% breaks down into the following approving categories:

12% outright bullies

7% hyperactive third graders

4% narcissists who want to be in the front/center of the group photo

1% idiots without manners

Wikileekz takes a contrarian point of view by pointing out that Trump simply showed candidate Gianforte the way one should treat his inferiors.

Those who know Gianforte best told WikiLeekZ  that Gianforte is a fast learner and when Trump called to congratulate him on his victory, Trump also applauded him for showing the press who's boss.

In fact, Trump said that he plans to have a talk with Spicey about press relations and has set up meeting between Spicer, Gianforte and Chuck Norris, an enthusiastic Trump backer.

In a conversation with Spicer, WikiLeekZ has learned that in the light of Trump and Gianforte's actions,  new rules of engagement are now being drawn up for press conferences.

Marquis de Queensbury publications have sold out wherever the President's entourage has visited the past 10 rounds, 24 hours.

Trump emphasized that he would never do anything, nor has he done anything to impugn the dignity of the office of the presidency...he would never body slam a reporter, for instance...unless he felt it necessary.

It has been rumored that Trump is actually cowardly and of course, would never engage in a physical confrontation in which he might be embarrassed by running away or worse yet, mess up his hair.

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"We don't need no stinkin' wheels", Trump proudly announces...

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WikiLeekZ has learned that the Trump Administration plans to cut funding of the 'antiquated' Meals on Wheels Program*. "This program, delivering meals on wheels is so 20th Century" the press release stated today.

The Trump administration has announced a pairing with major airlines to parachute leftover meals from planes as they approach airports...thereby covering most of the country and "feeding many people, you can't believe how many people will be feasting on that great leftover airline cuisine. They'll have big, beautiful meals, the best" Trump stated.

For many areas outside of airport landing patterns, Trump is exploring a partnership with Amazon for drone delivery of its food staples that are past their sell-by dates.

Trump also proudly announced that there are plans for river, lake and ocean cruise ships to cast leftovers overboard in floating Styrofoam containers enabling those who can swim to have nutritious meals for free.

Trump's team will brief AARP to enable them to notify their membership of existing airliner landing patterns and marine navigation charts to enable those capable or their kids or grand kids to take advantage of this innovative Trump program and scavenge the Meals on Water.

Budget Director Mick Mulvaney pointed out in a press release that this plan, 'The Ecological Foreign Trade Pact', would not only reduce fuel consumption, thus be ecologically sound, but will transfer massive funds in the form of tax refunds which will be directed to a small group of Americans to enable them to buy even more expensive French Wines, Russian Beluga Caviar, Italian Ferrari's as well as great British bespoke tailoring.

* "We can't do that anymore. We can't spend money on programs just because they sound good. And great, Meals on Wheels sounds great. Again, that's a state decision to fund that particular portion — to take the federal money and give it to the states, and say look, we want to give you money for programs that don't work." Mick Mulvaney

But scientific studies have found Meals on Wheels programs are effective in improving nutrition among the elderly. And they're cost effective, because keeping older adults in their homes is less expensive than nursing-home care.

"It's not just a meal, but a wellness check," Noe of Meals on Wheels said. "That volunteer, that driver is able to tune into whether that person's health is failing, or if they’ve fallen or can't get out of their chair. And we’re delivering relief from isolation, and we’re delivering relief to their family as well."

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WikiLeekZ Brazilian Bombshell!

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has learned that Trump's White House inner circle has been online studying extradition treaties between the US and Brazil and Russia. The revelation comes on the heels of a report today that someone close to the President is a 'Person of Interest' in the ongoing investigation. Ladbrokes may be offering odds on the unnamed person.

The group had tasked 4 mid-level staffers who had been sworn to secrecy to prepare a complete legal dossier prior to boarding Air Force One on its flight today with Saudi Arabia as its first destination.

The 7 unnamed presidential assistants were seen carrying what appeared to be an inordinate amount of luggage needed for a week+ trip as they prepared to board Air Force One.

Earlier in the day, WikiLeekZ called one of the 7 to inquire about her interest in Brazil and Russia, she mentioned 'down time for a tan'. As far as Russia was concerned,  she thought it may be a good time to 'take Vladimir up on his offer'.

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LOCK HIM UP! 

WikiLeekZ is our name...Satire is Our Game
WikiLeekZ has learned that Leftist political groups in Saudi Arabia, Israel and Italy are poised to confront President Donald J Trump when he arrives in their respective countries with the chant...LOCK HIM UP, LOCK HIM UP!

This is a version of the chant, Lock Her Up that Trump encouraged at his rallies throughout his successful bid for the American presidency.

When WikiLeekZ asked the head of the Saudi students, who will be chanting in front of the Saudi Royal Palace on Saturday, about the planned demonstration. He said that since a Special Counsel was appointed today in America, Trump is much closer to a stint in jail than Mrs. Clinton ever was...appropriate, yes?

WikiLeekZ then asked how he thought the American president would react to the chants. He replied that he was certain Trump would appreciate the irony as he has such a good self-deprecating sense of humor. He admitted that if things got dicey for him and his friends, they would change the chant to Lock Her Up.

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 President Trades Cruise for Caviar!

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has just finished its first ever interview with President Trump. The President thought that WikiLeaks was the interviewer and that seemed to pave the way for explosive revelations from the President. The interview was limited to Trump’s meeting in the White House with Lavrov and Kislyak last week in which a story in the Washington Post today divulged that Trump provided extremely sensitive, classified information to the Russians at that White House meeting.

In the interview with WikiLeekZ, Trump clearly stated that his disclosures to Lavrov and Kislyak are really no big deals. “Mike (Michael Flynn former NSA) has given the Russians much more sensitive, classified material and we’re still here, right?” Trump boasted.

“Oh, by the way, Bannon has a cozy relationship with a Russian spy here in WDC where they exchange very classified information…just the best, top stuff. Let me tell you, we come out way ahead on Bannon’s deal. There’s nobody like Bannon to make a deal, except maybe Jared.

Bannon meets with the Russian spy once a week and gives the Russian simple data like troop strength and movement, top secret Cruise Missile deployments, you know, things like that. In return, he gets the most amazing Borsch recipes and about 100 pounds of Beluga Caviar…maybe it’s 100 kilos, whatever. It’s a lot and we sell that stuff at Mar-a-Lago for big bucks; you should see the dinner bills those Russians oligarchs rack up”!

This is a quickly developing story. Be on the lookout for more interesting disclosures from the Commander-in-Chief.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday.

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Who Knew?

WikiLeekZ is trying to figure out why everyone seems to be taken by surprise by the latest Trump Tweets and interviews. 

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ asks, what's different or worse or more surprising about the latest missives fired from the Tweeter-in-Chief than we’ve all seen throughout the campaign and presidency?

In fact, WikiLeekZ has it on impeccable, inside authority that even the Tweeter-in-Chief is confounded, confused and shuffles around the corridors of power muttering...

"Who knew? I'm essentially (new word I learned today) doing what I've always done. I've always been a narcissistic, crude, belligerent bully; and I take every advantage possible to make money and enrich myself and the family. What's the big deal? I've always been this way and was elected President? Who knew being president would be this complicated"?

WikiLeekZ completely understands the position of the President and assumes that if people keep bothering the Tweeter-in-Chief, at some point he may simply threaten to resign so that he can go back to his former life of lying, cheating and saying stupid things out of the hot glare of a nation that, for the most part, expects at least a minimum of sobriety and probity in their President.

A close friend of the president, when asked by WikiLeekZ if Trump may, in fact resign, scoffed at the notion and said that he is still 11 billion dollars away from his 4 year goal.

WikiLeekZ is contemplating a ‘Go Fund Me’ program to raise 11 billion dollars.

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Who knew that firing Comey, while he was investigating me and my staff for collusion with the Russians during the election would be so complicated?

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is Our Game

WikileekZ has surreptitiously obtained a copy of a taped conversation with Trump and a top aid this morning.

Can you believe what they’re saying?... things like…The justification is transparently ridiculous. Does anyone actually believe that Trump fired Comey because he was unfair to Hillary Clinton during the campaign?

Vlad told me it would be easy…they do it all the time, and worse, in Russia. “No big deal”, he promised me.

So, this morning, I’m meeting with the Russian Foreign Minister, Sergey Lavrov, in the White House to ask him to explain the American system to me… just as President Xi explained the China/Korea relationship to me last month.

I’ll also ask him what our next move should be and if Vlad has come up with a recommendation he promised me for a new FBI Director.

What’s so infuriating (a word I learned yesterday), to me is that some people say I’m not interested in learning history. I’m having an American history lesson this morning! What more can people want from me?

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WikiLeekZ uncovers plot by TROIKA to fire FBI Director James Comey

WikileekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has discovered that not-so-secret admirers, Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump have conspired to bamboozled Hillary Clinton to join their effort to fire Comey. Clinton was assured that Comey would not be subject to another 'SATURDAY NIGHT MASSACRE'. In a clever move, the 2 Best Friends, instead, pulled off the 'TUESDAY NIGHT MASSACRE'.

WikiLeekZ also has learned that Putin and Trump made the final decisions in the much-publicized phone call between WDC and Moscow last week. Best buddies Putin and Trump thought that including Clinton in the plot would give them cover in this Nixonian/Soviet style plot.

A White House insider has told WikiLeekZ that Trump, who has not been seen publicly for the past five days, has been studying American legal history. He was especially interested in Nixon and the Saturday Night Massacre.

Trump has suggested to Putin that Robert Bork be chosen as the new FBI Director. Perhaps Trump was not aware that Bork died in 2012?  Putin suggested that the best solution would be that Trump simply do away with the FBI altogether. Trump is known to be seriously considering this course of action.

In Trump's way of thinking, the TROIKA got what it wanted; Clinton's nemesis is gone, the FBI's investigation into Trump/Russia is quashed and Putin can put this achievement into his 'completed' file.

Getting Trump to fire Preet Bharara, Sally Yates and now Comey gives Putin a 3 for 3 and the American legal system an 0 for 3.

WikiLeekZ is now suggesting that the public keep a watch on the remaining FBI's leading department heads as well as the top CIA leaders. Trump is thought to have rejected Putin's 'Tea and Polonium' Solution.

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Trump announces new jobs program…The Skeleton Corps…

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

With the House of Representatives passage of the American Health Care Act and in the grand tradition of the Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC) and the Peace Corps… Trump announces the formation of the Skeleton Corps.

Trump has often promised that Americans won’t be dying in the streets. “nobody is going to be dying on the streets with a President Trump,” he promised.

Today Trump unveiled his job-producing plan allied with the consequences of the proposed AHCA.

The Plan states

:

Strong young men and women will be hired to roam the streets of the largest 100 American cities each day beginning at midnight, and cart away those Americans who died overnight on the streets, sidewalks and doorways of America. These bodies will be out of sight before good, hard-working Americans open their doors and head off to school and the workplace. 

There will be no bodies on the streets in the morning. In addition, the Skeleton Corps will roam around throughout the day to pick up anyone who decided to extend their lives a few hours longer…into the daylight or, those American citizens the Skeleton Corps determines are expected to die within a few hours.

This efficient plan will fulfill the optics of Trump’s statement that…

“nobody is going to be dying on the streets” when he takes over the Oval Office.  “nobody is going to be dying on the streets with a President Trump,” he promised.

Trump indicated that his plan will not only employ 1000’s of young people, giving them a purpose in life and a great future, but save taxpayers billions of dollars in unnecessary medical care for those forgotten, unknown citizens who were bound to die someday anyway.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

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In the wake of Trump’s latest pronouncement… “He’s 27 years old, his father dies, took over a regime, so say what you want but that’s not easy, especially at that age.”                                           “I’d Be Honored” to Meet with North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has surreptitiously obtained a copy of an invitation list for an upcoming White House State Dinner. The dinner, billed as a ‘Rendezvous of the Best and Strongest’ will take place on Memorial Day in the White House State Dining Room.

WikiLeekZ cautions readers that this is probably an incomplete list which is subject to last minute changes depending upon the health and/or availability of the guests. In addition, Trump has added a number of other names which, in WikiLeekZ viewpoint, may be considered dubious, at best.

Trump calls these guests…Trump All Stars and is having a special autograph book made for his personal use and has hired the best photographer in the world to capture the unprecedented event.

Invitations have been sent out for the ‘Rendezvous of the Best and Strongest’ …partial Guest List draft…

Premium Seating    Vladimir Putin   Kim Jong Un   Abdel al-Sisi    Rodrigo Duterte    Bashar al-Assad

 

Gold Seating   Marine LePen   Steve Bannon   Stephen Miller   Mike Flynn   Sebastian Gorka

Double Diamond Platinum Seating   Trump All-Time All Stars   Mohamar Khadiffi   Francisco Franco   Saddam Hussein   Mao Tse-Tung   Hafez al-Assad   Idi Amin   Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov (Lenin)   Genghis Khan   Pol Pot

 

Special Trump Guest &  Keynote Speaker   A. Hitler…seated at Head Table with Donald Trump, Czar Nicholas II,   Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli  and Joseph Stalin

WikiLeekZ believes that Trump may be disappointed in the negligible turnout of the All Stars. No All Star RSVP’s have been received at press time and his able staff has yet to schedule Trump’s latest history lesson which would be helpful in the Trump understanding of the lack of All Star RSVP's.

Evening Entertainment: The Producers…Mel Brooks   and Triumph of the Will…Leni Riefenstahl

WikiLeekZ reports of hearing Trump saying- “This will be the greatest group of leaders of all time. They’re all stars! When elections were held, they all got 98% of votes, almost as many as I did!  Otherwise they had some of the longest reigns in history. They must be great and strong, right Bannon”?

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WikiLeekZ stock tip of the millennium!

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has discovered a citizen, poised to assume a great and important office; Trump’s nominee for Army Secretary, is guaranteed to boost the fortunes of arms manufacturers of all stripes to an exponential degree.

Now is the time to buy stocks in naval warship and B 1 B bomber producers as well as more mundane weapon makers such as Stryker and Colt. Another tip…buy hospital stocks, surgical instrument stocks and save some investment money for a company like Forest Lawn. 

You might want to add nuclear weaponry developers such as Flour, Babcock & Wilcox and General Electric Boat Division to your new portfolio.

Why? You may well ask WikiLeekZ  portfolio managers.

Because Tennessee state Sen. Mark Green (R), President Donald Trump’s nominee for Army Secretary, strongly believes that citizens should be armed ― and not just with any ol’ guns. They should be able to possess whatever weapons the military has, because an armed citizenry is the “ultimate checks and balances” against the federal government.”

The Tennessee state senator also stated that “the citizenry should be allowed to maintain whatever weapon the federal government has. If they can have an aircraft carrier, I ought to be able to have an aircraft carrier.”

Such beautiful logic! What stunning common sense it all makes to WikiLeekZ!

WikiLeekZ certainly understands that there are some limitations to Green’s thinking. For instance, what good is a battleship going to do any patriot as it sits dry docked in the Nevada desert?

WikiLeekZ suggestion…That man (or woman) needs an F16 Fighter (General Dynamics , Lockheed Martin)…2 more hot stock tips…to defend his home and family.

Other drawbacks may possibly be that certain Patriots may not be up to speed with some of the technology needed to pilot a B 1 B (Rockwell $156.50 current stock price) or Northrop Grumman’s Stealth Bomber ($244.34). It turns out that some beginners may even have a hard time finding their Stealth Bomber with its invisibility technology. WikiLeekZ suggestion…buy a TileFinder and attach it to the Stealth Bomber.

WikiLeekZ has one more caveat to those who wish to trade up in their weapons systems…don’t hire Commander in Chief Trump or the Captain of the Carl Vincent carrier if you want to arrive at your designated War Zone on time with your Arleigh Burke Class Aegis Destroyer (Bath Iron Works Huntington-Ingalls Industries). 

.  

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100 Daze in Office!

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ congratulates… The Trump Administration as it Celebrates and Congratulates itself …

100 Daze in Office!

WikiLeekZ ponders…100 daze … How old is the Trump ‘administration‘  in Dog Years? The answer, WikiLeekZ believes, is about 2 human years. Has it only been 2 years since Trump took office? It seems more like a decade!

But it’s good to have Trump remind us every so often of his accomplishments. He reminds us every chance he gets that he won the election by the largest margin in history, had the biggest inaugural crowd ever and ate the world’s best chocolate cake.

That’s something. We can only hope that his accomplishments remain at that high level!

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

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