Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Trump Apes Right Wing Zealots

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Earlier today, President Trump re-tweeted unverified, questionable videos purporting to show Muslims assaulting people and smashing a statue of the Virgin Mary.

In answering questions by reporters, Press Spokesperson, Sarah Huckabee Sanders said…
"Whether it is a real video, the threat is real". "That is what the President is talking about, that is what the President is focused on is dealing with those real threats, and those are real no matter how you look at it."

When pressed on whether it matters if the video is real, Sanders said reporters were "focusing on the wrong thing."

"The threat is real," she said, later adding that "the threat needs to be addressed. The threat has to be talked about and that is what the President is doing in bringing that up."

On the heels of the re-tweeted so-called Muslim videos, Trump tweeted a link to the movie, Planet of the Apes later today and this afternoon, Trump issued three Executive Orders dealing with another Huge Existential threat to America.

1)      Full travel ban on all Simians attempting to enter the USA
2)      Homeland Security will commence immediately building walls around Monkey Houses in major zoos across the USA
3)      Eric, Little Don and Erik Prince will lead Blackwater Mercenaries in an Expeditionary Force to Africa in order to eradicate the imminent Simian threat to the people of the USA

Sarah Sanders was again besieged by reporters and, in answer to questions about the president’s link to Planet of the Apes, she replied "Whether it is a real movie, the threat is real". Blah, Blah, Blah…

Miss Sanders also gave a heads up to the assembled press by telling them to be on the lookout early in the morning for a tweet and link to King Kong.


WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Monday, November 27, 2017

Trump Voted Best in the USA!

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Today, in an innovative online poll, 2/3 of America’s Third Graders chose Trump to be the Best of the Worst of Third Graders in the USA.

The poll was based on Trump’s comments while he was speaking to Honor and Recognize Native American *Code Talkers who served during World War II when he made a remark about Senator Elizabeth Warren.

″You were here long before any of us were here,” Trump said during the event. “Although we have a representative in Congress who they say was here a long time ago. They call her Pocahontas.”

Kirby, a Third Grader from Ashcroft, WV, speaking for Third Graders, noted that the last time he’d heard anyone say something so stupid and insulting was when some guy from New York City suggested President Obama should go back to Kenya, where he was born.

Sad, So Sad! Honoring Elderly American Heroes this way?


WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday
Limbaugh to Name Trump ‘Ditto Head of the Year’

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Trump sent out a tweet saying that he refused the ‘probable’ Time Magazine Person of the Year for 2017. “Probably is not good enough”, he huffed.

"Time Magazine called to say that I was PROBABLY going to be named ‘Man (Person) of the Year,' like last year, but I would have to agree to an interview and a major photo shoot," Trump tweeted. "I said probably is no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway!"

WikiLeekZ  has it on good authority that Trump was heard to say, to no one in particular.

“I’ve received many offers from really great, top publications; Drudge, Breitbart, Golf Magazine, Fox, InfoWars, Leading Hotels of the World, Limbaugh and, my people tell me, many others. They all want to make me their Person of the Year, many others”

“I’ve got a stack of offers on my desk...real offers, not ‘probables’. In fact, I’ve had to set aside many other things that are taking up room on my desk… just to make room for these real offers, many, many offers. Middle East proposals, tax cuts for the rich, health care for the needy...all cleared away and put into storage so that I can concentrate on these important issues.”

“Golf magazine just needs me to sign a 2 year contract to buy a full page quarterly ad and I’ll be on the back cover. I’m taking the 3 year deal and getting my picture on the front cover…twice!
Limbaugh wants me to do monthly interviews and he’ll make me Ditto Head of the Year. A lot of people say I should do it.

And, Alex Jones at InfoWars just needs me to buy air time for my hair care products, twice a day. Jones says he’ll make me Man of the Century if I sign up for a 3-year buy. People tell me Man of the Century is better, much better than Man of the Year.”

“Who knew being president was so tough? Before my next round with Tiger, I still have to call Breitbart, Fox and Hannity to see what they’ll name me and for how much. I’ll get the Republican National Committee to foot the bill; people say I can do that.”

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday


WikiLeekZ.blogspot.com

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Is Trump America’s Incarnation of “Dumb and Dumber?

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Recently WikiLeekZ wrote a script in which LaVar Ball and Donald Trump are protagonists. The outline follows…

Lavar’s son, LiAngelo, and 2 friends steal items at Louis Vuitton in China and were arrested

Trump tweets that He is the reason the boys were released because of a chat with President Xi and expects to be thanked

“Everybody wants to make it seem like [Trump] helped me out,” the elder Ball told ESPN last week.

In response to Ball, the president fumed that he should have left the players in jail, a charge that the White House later walked back.

Ball countered with “if I was going to thank somebody, I’d probably thank President Xi.”

Experts tell WikiLeekZ that the boys probably would have been released without Trump’s help (contrary to Trump’s claims) because shoplifting isn’t a serious crime in China.

Trump fired back by tweeting that Ball is “a poor man’s version of Don King, but without the hair” and an “ungrateful fool.”

WikiLeekZ has given up trying to sell the script because no studio or publisher would accept the main premise that a president of the US would engage in such sophomoric (with apologies to sophomores) back and forth what with so many desperate worldwide problems needing attention. Even the Onion, Mad magazine and the Weinstein Group wouldn’t bite.

This is a bitter reminder to WikiLeekZ who last summer, tried to peddle a script (without success) describing the election of a serial molester, profoundly egotistic, narcissistic candidate who won a US presidential election.


WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

WikiLeekZ.blogspot.com

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

 



                                
                                  WikiLeekZ wishes you a Happy Thanksgiving and asks you all to
                              remember those whose loss was so great in the Wine Country Fires.
                                 Enjoy Time and Table with your family and those dear to you as
                                       you celebrate this quintessential American Holiday.
                             Cheers,
                             Zeny

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Trump to Pardon a record six (6) today in White House ceremony.

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

President Trump is continuing the long-standing White House tradition of pardoning turkeys in advance of Thanksgiving.

In a surprise move, Trump announced that not only will he pardon the Turkey Drumstick, but Turkeys Manafort, Flynn (Jr & Sr), Donald Jr (Little Don) and Jared Kushner for any and all bad deeds they may or may not have committed under the influence of Greed, Loyalty, Stupidity, Incompetence or the Lust for Power.

In a release to the Press, Trump stated that his pardons will be the Greatest Thanksgiving Pardons in American History…”something that I am very proud of”.

Only Drumstick expects to be at the White House ceremony. The other Turkeys all have previous engagements with Special Counsel.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday




Sexual Predators open up jobs for others…”Good for the economy”-Trump

Liberals outpace Conservative Sexual Predators*

WikiLeekZ is Our name...Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has recently totaled up the prominent accused sexual predators of the last few years and has declared the Liberal Team ahead of the team fielded by Conservatives by about 20%.

While the Conservative Team Molester leads in Presidents and politicians by a 2-1 margin, the Liberal Team Assault is far ahead in the entertainment business.

Both Teams, however, are guaranteeing a victory in the Sexual Predator contest when all is said and done. 

WikiLeekZ looks to the Bright Side of Things…There are numerous openings in the entertainment business now and some seats available in political races and we’re sure to learn of more daily before the end of the year and must agree with Trump.

WikileekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

*Molesters and Assaulters list updated Nov21, 2017, 5:30 am Pacific Time

Liberal Team (Team Assault)
Harvey Weinstein
John Conyers
Glenn Thrush
George Takei
Richard Dreyfuss
Mark Halperin
Dustin Hoffman
Louie C. K.
Roman Polanski
Al Franken
Bill Crosby   
Charlie Rose
Jeffery Tambor
Bill Clinton
Kevin spacey

The Conservative Team (Team Molester- Molest Her)
Donald Trump
George H W Bush
Mark Foley
Clarence Thomas
Bob Packwood
Dennis Hassert
Roger Ailes
Bill O’Reilly
Roy Moore


Friday, November 17, 2017

The Elephant in the Dining Room

WikiLeekZ is Our name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ Exclusive:
From Our Washington Correspondent…

Last month, at a family gathering in The Family Dining Room of the White House, Donald Trump, Jr (Little Don) asked Big Don (President Trump) for a favor.

“Sure, Little Don, anything. As president, you get to do anything you want, even grab them by the pussy”.

“Well”, said little Don…”Eric and I are going to Zambia to hunt Elephants and Lions and we want to bring back some trophies so that we can brag about what great and brave hunters we are”.

“I’ve already rolled back the disgusting Obama law* for Lions and now every blood-thirsty, brave hunter can bring back heads of Lions that they cut off after they’ve shot them from sixty yards away. But I thought that you boys used Tillerson’s Diplomatic Pouch for your trophies”.

“We did, Dad, but that was when we were bringing back just Elephant Ears and Tails but now we want to cut off the whole head including tusks and they won’t fit into Rex’s Bag”.

“Sure, no problem; it’ll be done by mid-November**; a fitting memorial to my election anniversary. You get your Elephant Heads and Tusks and I symbolically rain carnage on the Republican Party. Get it? Elephants-GOP!”

“Thanks, Dad…just one more thing. Barron wants a Panda Bear”.

“No problem, I’ll make a call tomorrow to China and we’ll have a freshly slaughtered and stuffed Panda sent by DHL in a few days”.

“No, Barron’s not like us; he wants a live Panda to take to Show and Tell at school. Last week he suggested that he bring his Dad to school one day, but that was rejected in a landslide. It’s Washington, you know…the kids and teachers wanted to see a Panda instead.”

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

*The Trump Administration recently rolled back protections for African lions, releasing new guidelines that allow hunters to bring trophies from animals killed in parts of Africa into the U.S., according to updated rules released by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.

**The Trump administration plans to allow hunters to bring trophies of elephants they killed in Zimbabwe and Zambia back to the United States, reversing a ban put in place by the Obama administration in 2014, a U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service official confirmed for ABC News.


Sunday, November 12, 2017

End of Hollywood Feared...can big business and government be far behind?

The Decline and Fall of the American Empire...

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is Our Game

How 2 rich, powerful, insecure men brought America to its Knees

WikiLeekZ is reporting that in the executive suites and private dining rooms of Beverly Hills and Burbank, actors and film moguls are chewing over the possibility of the demise of Hollywood as they know it.They are wondering who is going to produce, direct and act in the films of the future.

That is, when they’re not huddling with their lawyers and public relations firms trying to figure out how they can slither out of a lifetime of sexual predation.

Lawyers and crisis management teams are some of the only film industry professionals in NYC and West L A who seem to be working full tilt.

Young, up and coming female film people are spawning a gushing torrent of writing and soliciting scripts about powerful movie men and their sexual power plays. That part of the film industry is also thriving.

The problem for these female producers is that the pool of male actors such as Kevin Spacey and Dustin Hoffman needed to star in the roles of sexual predators is fast dwindling.

Starting with the President and extending all of the way to state legislatures, powerful political figures have long been known to prey upon young, vulnerable women and men.

Board rooms and Executive Suites of Big Business are not immune to charges of sexual harassment which is putting in doubt the leadership of the world's largest economy.

Entire news departments as well as individual newscasters and reporters have been accused of sexual misconduct bringing into doubt the viability of American journalism.

When the history of the Decline and Fall of the American Empire is written, a very huge chapter will be devoted to Roger Ailes, Donald Trump and Harvey Weinstein.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday



Trump believes in Putin, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ was present at the informal Q & A Trump held in the Philippines and recorded the following:

The president, when queried whether he had asked Putin about Russian election interference in the US, replied…

“Putin told me he absolutely did not interfere with our elections. I've asked him multiple times and I believe him.”

When asked by a reporter what else Trump believes, he replied that absolutely he believes in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

"I'm also pretty sure about the Tooth Fairy even though McMaster has tried to tell me she doesn't exist. I know she does because I got lots of money under my pillow as a kid”.

“I've also sent out a huge expeditionary force to capture some Big Feet and a much smaller group to bring back some leprechauns in time for St Patrick’s Day”.

“Putin assured me that I am absolutely right in my beliefs”.

Trump continued…
“By the way, I also believe that Judge Moore,  H Weinstein, Bill Cosby and K Spacey did not molest those people and,  I have letters from all of those guys attesting that I did not sexually harass those women and that I had the biggest inaugural crowd in history”.


WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

‘Coffee Boy’ Papadopoulos Inks Huge Starbucks Deal

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has learned that George Papadopoulos, a former Trump foreign policy advisor turned famous 'Coffee Boy', has signed a multiyear contract with Starbucks.

Papadopoulos will promote a special White House blend...Trump's Finest Blend,The Best Coffee Ever in History’! at various political gatherings in and around Washington, DC. As a part of the contract, Papadopoulos will bring in other White House advisors to promote the brand
.
In a Deal put together by Papadopoulos, Ivanka will soon sign a licensing agreement lending her name and brand to a coffee blend tentatively named ‘First Daughter’...'Have a First Daughter Every Morning' is the tag line.

As a part of the arrangement, Trump, Inc. will receive $30 million dollars from Starbucks for their right to use the Presidential Seal and the official W H photograph of Trump holding the $10 million dollar check from an off-shore Starbucks bank account...(the remaining $20 million will be paid in cash…Russian Rubles , just in case).

Papadopoulos himself will have his own blend...'Coffee Boy Dark Roast' blend with the tag line "He's an excellent guy... And, he makes an excellent coffee"Donald J Trump

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday


WikiLeekZ.blogspot.com

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

US birth rate continues to keep pace with Mass Murders

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ learned today from the US Bureau of True Statistics that if the birth rate in the US continues at its current pace, the population of the USA will remain stable for the foreseeable future.

Despite some nervous warnings from the anti-gun crowd that the population of the US will soon reach zero, the Bureau has reassured WikiLeekZ that despite the recent mass killings in Las Vegas and Texas, America will give birth to enough citizens to supply the mass murder-gun crowd for years to come.

The Bureau issued this caveat, however: "our projection is based upon the same level or just a slight uptick in mass murders. As weaponry becomes more sophisticated and lethal and the NRA gains in strength, the possibility of a zero sum game would loom in the US.

If this trend continues, The Bureau recommends a mass migration of citizens to less violent countries such as Iraq or Syria in the future.

So, America, nothing to worry about! Yet


WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Trump announces Irish Travel Ban and Roundup

From his hotel suite in Japan, President Trump announced an immediate roundup of anyone with an Irish name because the Texas Church shooter's name is Devin Patrick Kelley, a fine Irish name.

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

In the wake of the recent Texas church mass murders, president Trump has ordered an immediate travel ban on anyone coming from Ireland and signed an Executive Order banning anyone with an Irish sounding name from entering US territory.

In addition, a mass roundup, WWII-Japanese style, of Irish-Americans is under way as WikiLeekZ goes to press.

Chief of Staff Kelly has volunteered to be the first to be incarcerated under this new edict.

"The safety of the US citizenry is uppermost in all of our minds and I consider it my patriotic duty to become the first to be jailed".

Before Kelly left for Leavenworth, he combed the WH files for other bad dude Irishmen. Steve Bannon and KellyAnne Conway were immediately informed of their status.

Soon after the edict, the ACLU has filed a brief in the DC Federal Court challenging the presidential act.

CNN reports that Statues of  Ed Sullivan, Tom Clancy and JFK are tumbling down all across this great nation of ours.

Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, George Clooney, Conan O' Brien and Chris Matthews were all seen pleading their innocence as they were taken into custody.

Bill O'Reilly and James Comey went peacefully accompanied by their lawyers.

Law enforcement officials are searching for descendants of Walt Disney, Alfred Hitchcock, Neal Cassady and F Scott Fitzgerald. They are hampered by the fact that approximately 60% of police forces are Irish Americans.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday


WikiLeekZ.blogspot.com

Saturday, November 4, 2017

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Trump to visit 5 countries and meet with Asian Leaders in a 12 day trip…What could possibly go wrong?

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ assumes that president Trump has spent the last few weeks studying for his Asian trip by calling in the best academic, military and political minds in America to the White house to have serious, in depth discussions and explore various points of view.

We expect that the president has been burning the midnight oil by reading up on the culture, history and current political conditions in the part of the world that is critical to the future of the United States and to the world.

With that in mind, WikiLeekZ pronounces  What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday


WikiLeekZ.blogspot.com

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

It’s Back to School for Kelly

John Kelly to take classes on American History at Georgetown University.

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has learned that in order for John Kelly to retain his job as Chief of Staff, his wife, Karen, insisted that he attend night school classes on American History and publicly submit his test scores for grading by actual historians, not Fox ‘News’ talking heads.

In a recent Fox interview, Kelly said "…the lack of ability to compromise led to the Civil War. And men and women of good faith on both sides made their stand where their conscience had to make their stand…There will be, 100 or 200 years from now, people that criticize us for what we do, and I guess they'll tear down, you know, statues of people that we revere today,"

For Kelly, the future is now...

WikiLeekZ notes that it didn’t take 100-200 years for historians to begin a fusillade of criticism for Kelly’s ignorant statements about Compromise and the Civil War.

Kelly's statement, of course, is flat-out wrong. Slavery was incorporated into the Constitution through the three-fifths compromise* and was continued, despite fierce opposition by abolitionists, through political compromises in 1820 and 1850, as well as with the Kansas-Nebraska Act of 1854**.

Compromise continued long after Lincoln's death. The Compromise of 1877*** led to explicit White Supremacist rule in the South for a century.
 
Lincoln’s Compromise plan for re-admission…Once a group in any conquered state equal in number to one tenth of the state’s total vote in the presidential election of 1860 took the prescribed oath of loyalty to the United States and organized a government that abolished slavery; Lincoln’s plan would grant that state recognition and admitted into the Union. That was a great Compromise as many of the states wanted a 50% to take an iron-clad oath that that never willingly supported the Confederacy.

WikiLeekZ sees Trumpism seeping into the fiber of Kelly’s brain. So SAD! Kelly will bring Trump along to school at Melania's insistence.

* The Three-Fifths Compromise was a compromise reached between delegates from southern states and those from northern states during the 1787 United States Constitutional Convention, allowing slaves to be counted as three-fifths of human beings for taxation and representation purposes

**The Kansas-Nebrask Act was an 1854 bill that mandated “popular sovereignty”–allowing settlers of a territory to decide whether slavery would be allowed within a new state’s borders.


*** The Compromise of 1877 was a purported informal, unwritten deal that settled the intensely disputed 1876 U.S. presidential election. It resulted in the United States federal government pulling the last troops out of the South, and formally ended the Reconstruction Era. Through the Compromise, Republican Rutherford B. Hayes was awarded the White House over Democrat Samuel J. Tilden on the understanding that Hayes would remove the federal troops whose support was essential for the survival of Republican state governments in South Carolina, Florida and Louisiana.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But may Be Someday